5 Things I Learnt From Seeing A Therapist

Hey everyone and happy end of Feb!

How are you? Have you checked in with yourself recently?

February was a month of challenges for me. I lost my 11-year-old chocolate labrador, my anxiety was extremely high and my overall mood has been a little low. I am not one to be negative but I am always going to be real with you. I have been struggling and as a human being who cares, that’s normal.

When my anxiety is at its highest, I can experience all sorts of emotions… Depression, nausea, extreme fatigue, irritability and so much more. It can impact my life, my relationships and my overall outlook on things and it can even be crippling. However, I haven’t experienced anxiety like this for many years until a few weeks ago when things had become too much for me and personal situations overtook and it was time I made some changes in my life.

My diet had taken a back seat and convenience food was at the forefront of my eating habits (I don’t mean takeaways, I mean bland food that gets me through a mealtime but doesn’t add much value or nutrients to my diet). This is a rare thing for me and it was something I needed to change to help with my anxiety.

Another thing was my training… It was all over the place and my motivation for the gym was minimal. Again, very unlike me so this needed evaluating. Was I moving my body in a way I love? Did I need to tweak my training plan?

When things got a little too much a few weeks ago, I decided it was time I went back to see my therapist. Not because I couldn’t cope but because I needed some assistance with my thought patterns. I haven’t had therapy for 4 years so this was a big step for me…

Have you ever thought to yourself… maybe I should see a therapist? Perhaps the thought of this makes you uncomfortable. After all, we’re constantly being told to “solve our own problems.” But does being independent really mean we have to figure everything out alone and struggle along the process? No, definitely not. 

Throughout my childhood, I struggled because I didn’t want therapy. I didn’t want ‘a stranger to know my problems’ because I thought ‘they wouldn’t understand’. But during my battle with anxiety and depression, I realised I couldn’t manage it on my own. I needed someone to help me find good outlets to relax and enjoy life. That’s when I decided to see a therapist.

I have had all sorts of therapists but my favourite is a woman local to me – she specialises in all sorts (angel card readings, counselling, group guided meditation & lots more!!) but I love her hypnotherapy and guided meditation practices she does with me (the pictures included in this blog post are ones I have taken at her space).

*disclaimer. I am not an expert in this field and I am sharing from personal experience only. This post is about therapy in general and what I have learnt throughout the years of seeing a therapist. I don’t go to counselling anymore. I do guided meditation and hypnotherapy with my current therapist.

Before each therapy session, I am always a little nervous and I think that’s normal because you’re stepping into the unknown and you’re not meant to know what’s going to happen. Each therapy session will be different according to what arises at that time and how your practitioner works. But I can assure you now, there’s nothing to be worried about.

There are lots of things I have learnt through therapy but there is one thing I have learnt and that’s… You are never too old, it’s never too late, you’re never too educated and you’re never too experienced to see a therapist. 

1. I got to talk about issues I couldn’t talk about with anyone else

During therapy, a lot of things can arise. Emotions and situations you never thought you would ever talk about but they come up. It’s a good thing and it’s a way of shifting emotions. Therapists keep everything confidential and they won’t tell anyone so it’s important you’re honest and open when going to therapy. It’s your chance to let go with no judgement. Use the therapy to your own advantage and don’t hold back for the fear of being judged. I have told my therapist all sorts of things… Things people don’t know. It’s an incredible feeling letting go in free and open space.

2. It is OK to cry and it is OK to swear and be angry

Yeah, I’m serious. Therapy can be emotional sometimes. I have had a complete meltdown before in front of my therapist and she’s been completely understanding, comforting and open. Remember, crying is an emotion, it’s a release and it’s important you don’t hold it in or apologise. Let it out. Use this time with your therapist to truly let go.

*Ok, let me be honest, I have had a meltdown on numerous occasions LOL.

3. Reduce the negative voices in your mind

Another thing I gained from therapy was that it reduced the mind-chatter in my brain — the voices in your head affecting your self-esteem. The voices that tell you that you are not good enough and you’re a failure. Mind chatter can be built up over the years. Whether they stem from experiences you have gone through or relationships you have been a part of. Cancelling and reducing this mind chatter was essential for me to move forward in my relationship, career and friendships. We’re shaped by our past and certain experiences, whether good or bad.

Therapists can help you navigate troubled times you once had and reinforce the notion that it’s ultimately your choice to create your future. Therapists cannot physically solve problems for you but they put things into perspective and from this, you can think more clearly and more positively so you can move forward.

4. I gained focus

When organising my therapy appointments, I always booked them in when I had extra time to focus. This means scheduling the appointments when I can give them full attention. For instance, avoid scheduling a session in “the middle of a workday when you have to be ‘on’ right afterwards”. After my therapy appointments, I give myself a few hours to gather my thoughts and process the therapy. It’s important you have this time to relax, unwind and re-think. It can be a little exhausting so give yourself this precious space afterwards. Then you will gain more focus for the days ahead.

5. I always left feeling less lonely and more motivated to work on myself

The best benefit of therapy! Opening up, being raw and honest with my therapist was the most beneficial of all. It allowed me to be my whole self and benefit from the whole therapy experience. At first, it can feel like therapy is challenging and exhausting but I promise when you leave, you’ll feel a little lighter and a little less lonely inside. You’ll feel more understood and you’ll realise that you don’t have to suffer alone in silence anymore.

Having dealt with anxiety and depression for a long period of time over the years, I understand how hard it can be to get out of bed some days. There have been days that I didn’t even want to go to therapy because sleep seemed more appealing. But my therapist was my angel, my mentor and she has helped me beyond words.

Even if during my therapy, a small glimmer of hope was there, my therapist still made me see a ray of light beyond so much darkness. She encouraged me to be patient with myself and my feelings. She encouraged me to experience my emotions as and when they arrived and she encouraged me to start doing the things that truly help me thrive and glow. She was my strength and she helped me see hope… Something I hadn’t seen in a long time.

Have you had therapy? How was it?

If you loved this post or it helped, please let me know in the comments below.

All my love, Jessica x

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