How To Make Peace With Failure

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Hello everyone! I am back again with another blog post and this week I am talking all things ‘failure’. I am going to be sharing some tips with you on how to combat the negative feeling that is attached to ‘failure’. I am also going to encourage you to reset your mindset towards ‘failure’. I hope by the end of this blog post, you can move forward into success and feel a huge boost of self-esteem.

‘Lack of success’ and the ‘feeling of not meeting a desirable goal or intention’ is the worst. When you have worked tirelessly trying to achieve something and it doesn’t work out, it can feel as if the world is against you. It’s easier said than done to just ‘get over it’ but I hope by the end of this post, you will feel motivated and uplifted. Whenever something gets challenging we either want to give up, keep going or question whether we are capable of achieving something amazing.

We are all afraid to fail or to take a step back rather than making a step forward in the right direction. In order to cope with these challenging situations and have a positive mindset, we have to adopt certain strategies to the situations and pivot with our pathway.

I want to share some strategies with you which have helped me overcome the guilt I have experienced with failure and how failure isn’t actually negative… It can be something extremely positive and it means varying different things.

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Let’s face it. We all make mistakes.

Most of us know that failure is a reality of life and it is what makes us human. At a certain degree, we understand that failure can actually help us grow as individuals. Intellectually, some of the greatest achievers — past and present — also routinely experienced failures… And they still became successful despite the down moments.

But still, as an individual, we dread failure and we hate to fail.  When we do fail, we hold onto it and we give it power over our emotions and sometimes it even dictates what we do next. I have gone to great lengths to avoid failure because I was frightened of all of the pain and shame it can cause. However, not only is this exhausting fighting against something that needs to happen it will also set you back. Recently, I have embraced the feeling of failure more than ever and I now have a positive outlook towards it… Despite the tears and anger.

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How can we keep failure – or the fear of it – from derailing us?

Don’t make failure personal

Just because something didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean it’s your fault. It just means that something greater is waiting for you. Personalising failure can have detrimental effects on self-esteem and confidence and it can restrict us from many things going forward. Accept the situation, go with the flow as much as possible and have a little faith.

Be persistent

No matter how hard we try, when we feel a sense of ‘failure’ we feel like giving up. Giving up is not an option. We MUST keep trying. We are positioned on this earth for a reason, that reason I believe we are all trying to find out.

Keep trying. Every time you fail, tell yourself you are going to brush yourself down, grab the obstacle with both hands and tackle it HEAD ON. Yes, at the time, it does not seem possible, but be persistent and don’t give up. Don’t allow a bad situation to snowball and make the situation worse.

Be your own cheerleader

We need to stop being so hard on ourselves as this has a damaging effect overall. Forget about your ego being damaged by ‘failure’. We are constantly growing as humans every day, we are constantly learning new things and meeting new people.

One of the best things you can do is to shift your perspective and belief system away from the negative (“If I fail, it means I am incapable, weak, and am destined to fall short”) and embrace more positive associations (“If I fail, I am one step closer to succeeding; I am smarter and savvier because the knowledge I’ve gained through this experience”) *inspiration taken from Forbes*.

‘Failure’ means a change in direction, feel excited about the next steps

Positivity is the base of everything. We must change our mindset in order to feel comfortable and remove the word ‘failure’ / ‘fail’ from our minds. ‘Failure’ is non-existent, let’s look at it as ‘a change in direction’. Remember, change HAS to happen so that we can experience new things and grow as individuals. So, in a way ‘failure’ isn’t a bad thing at all. In fact, it’s leading you to something greater and something that is more suited to your needs and greatest ambitions.

Remember, the universe wouldn’t give you a situation you couldn’t handle.

Release the need for approval of others

No one needs an explanation for your change in direction. No matter what, true friends and family will stand by you despite your situation. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged by others. Remember this is your life, not theirs. Moments of change can highlight your real friends, which is another positive.

Learn and adapt from your ‘failures’ 

Don’t dwell. Focus on what to do next. Sometimes, things don’t work because they aren’t meant to. It shifts our perspective to something more important. Analyse where you could make improvements in the future and add these improvements to your current goals. After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this?  Think about how you will apply this newfound insight going forward and be excited for the next steps in your pathway.

Trust me, you’ve got this.

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Always remember you are capable of amazing things. Human beings are marvellous creations as we have the power to change almost anything and impact on everything. So, by saying this you can change your mindset towards the negative connotations to the word ‘failure’. It is a shift in perspective and a change in direction.

“ROCK BOTTOM BECAME THE SOLID FOUNDATION ON WHICH I REBUILT MY LIFE”

J.K. ROWLING

I am always keen to hear your feedback on my weekly blogs and it means the world to me to know that people read them. If you want to chat further please do not hesitate to contact me via social media and email – Instagram / Facebook / Twitter – Email

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and week ahead!

Don’t doubt yourself, you’re awesome.

All my love,

Jessica x

 

 

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