Hi everyone! Happy Sunday! This week I am back with a post about the feelings of and how we can control our feelings loneliness. This post is inspired by my recent collaboration with CrewCatClothing.
I have experienced loneliness on many different levels and for many different reasons. Throughout my time struggling, I have made some small changes to ensure that when I do feel lonely, I can control the feelings and reduce the stress that comes with it.
Loneliness can grab you and it can become overwhelming. Just like the way your body craves food when it is hungry. When you’re lonely, your body can also crave some form of social contact.
When I was contacted by CrewCatClothing, I couldn’t wait to explore more of their products and delve deeper into their ethos. When I heard that their passion is to bring people together through the form of fitness, fun and purpose, I couldn’t wait to express my thoughts on their collections.
The Concept of CrewCatClothing
Embracing the 3C’s in their clothing, they want you to wear their clothing with pride and feel part of a ‘Crew‘ (this will allow you to feel a part of a community and reduce the elements of loneliness; in and outside of the gym). They want you to embrace your inner feline friend the ‘Cat‘ and have a relaxed and mindful approach to wellbeing and fitness. Of course, their third ‘C‘ is ‘Clothing‘. They have created varying styles to suit everyone! No matter what size or shape you are, they have something for everyone.
Using their element of togetherness, have a think about what makes you the happiest in life?
One thing that makes me feel happy, is being surrounded by my loved ones or being surrounded by like-minded individuals that all share a passion. Even though our need to connect is innate, some of us always experience ‘alone time‘ too much. You could have people around you throughout the day or you could even be in a long-term relationship and you can still experience a deep, heart-aching loneliness. Sometimes, without even knowing, isolation can have a seriously detrimental effect on one’s mental and physical health.
Sometimes when we are in a state of loneliness, we can become a creature of habit and never branch out. Although we may feel lonely, we never truly do anything to combat that feeling; we just accept that we are meant to feel that way… Isolated, alone, in darkness, inadequate and singled out.
Of course, spending time alone is essential, we can understand our inner being and sometimes we need some time alone to switch off and relax. However, if you’re like me, you can become your own worst enemy and enjoy your own company too much. To the point where creativity is none existent, laughter isn’t as frequent and depression can soon settle in and make an impact.
Loneliness can occur from many situations and it is truly different for everyone. Even the one person who seems very connected with others can also experience loneliness, so don’t be fooled. Loneliness can occur when… You feel like no one understands you, you are anxious about what people think about you, you are scared to commit to friendships with the fear of being hurt, moving to a new location/university/job, divorce/break-up, death and it can also be a symptom of a psychological disorder – depression.
Simply defined, loneliness is a condition of relational disconnection, social awkwardness and prolonged bouts of solitude. Lonely people often struggle with anxiety and depression, which reinforces their insecurities. Lonely people can lack confidence and emotional energy to pursue new relationships or to concentrate on their existing ones.
Don’t be convinced. While smiling and having fun, many hide their feelings of loneliness. For these people, loneliness can be something that occurs secretively and silently within them. Although I adore being around people, when I was suffering from loneliness I pretended to be upbeat, positive and happy 24/7. When actually, I felt unworthy and very insecure.
Loneliness is normal, so don’t blame yourself for feeling a certain way. Things can always trigger this off, but it is how we deal with our emotions that matter the most. Let’s be positive and think of small steps towards more social contact. Remember, there is someone out there that would love your company, they will adore every element of you and they are eager for a laugh… Just like you! You are not inadequate, you are more than capable of talking to people and you are much braver than you believe.
“But there is another source of worth and dignity from which you can relate to other fellow human beings. You can relate to them because you are still a human being, within the human community. You share that bond. And that human body is enough to give rise to a sense of self-worth and dignity” – Dalai Lama.
MY TIPS TO REDUCE LONELINESS
- Starting a new course is always a great way to meet new people who are keen to do something positive, fun and interesting. This could be a gym class or an educational class; English, Art, Photography… Go with what feels right and works with your schedule.
- Join an online community! Why don’t you join the CrewCatClothing crew, share your inspirations, wear their clothes with pride and snapshot your outfits, talk to like-minded individuals within the CrewCatClothing community and set up your own social media page! Get creative, get active and be inspired by others, from all walks of life. Anything goes with the CrewCatClothing crew! Kindness always.
- If social contact is a little daunting why not go somewhere where there is a lot of social contact but that does not mean that you have to communicate straight away. This may sound bizarre, but you don’t know who you will meet! Sometimes I would move my work to a coffee shop, a local library or I would even go out for dinner alone. Be mindful, you just don’t know!
- Attend a local foodie, fitness, art, sports or even home decor event! Find some local events near you that are catered to your interests; search Facebook, Google or even Instagram. You will be able to interact with like-minded individuals in a controlled setting. Remember, this is a great way to make a memory for your friend too! Take a friend or family member/s.
- Take action & say yes – don’t wait for an invitation. Be willing to take a risk, be proactive and invite people to share your life. Whether it is for coffee, lunch, a walk or even a sweaty gym session.
- Recognise the importance of being alone and enjoying solitude. Being alone is not the same as experiencing ‘loneliness’. Peace, quiet, freedom and inner space.
- Consider therapy. Counselling or hypnotherapy are both positive and healthy activities to carry out to combat self-defeating behaviours. With the support of a therapist or a professional, you can change your thinking, relationship patterns and your life. Become in control.
- Refine your relationships – new relationships and friendships bloom when you water in the darker areas. Remember, remove the toxic people in your life and open your heart to new exciting opportunities. Why welcome new people into your life when you have others clouding your potential. You have got this!
“If you examine all of the material facilities that you use for the enjoyment of life, you’ll find that there are hardly any of these material objects that have had no connection with other people, either directly or indirectly. Many people are involved in making those things possible”. – Dalai Lama.
So although we may feel lonely, we are in fact, connected to others more than we think.
If you consider embracing the great CrewCatClothing community, be sure to use my discount code at their checkout: PJ10 for 10% off your order.
Want to see the clothing in action and keep up to date with my adventures? Follow me on social media: @positivelyjessicaward
If you want me to recommend a hypnotherapist, please contact me via email or comment below, I would love to share my story.
All images in this blog post are taken by Heidi Jordan Photography.